HOLY SHIT! The Gathering is less than two weeks away! Only a week until I hit the road from South Florida to Oklahoma. This year is gonna be the shit in general, but it's gonna be the EXTRA shit with all the Sewerside action goin' down — check it out.
On the first night of the Gathering – get ready to party your fucking face off at the RENO RYDAS PURPLE PANDEMONIUM MIDNIGHT LIVER TRAUMA FOWLARAMA BRING YO MAMA NIGHT RYDA PARTY! If you don't know what Fowlarama is – bring your ass to the Madhouse Stage at 11PM on Wednesday night and get SCHOOLED MOTHAFUCKA!! Basically, you got a football in your hand, and 10 bowling pins set up ahead of you – chuck that motherfuckin ball, knock out all them pins, and get a strike mothafacko – cuz it's goin down!! Also – get a face full of the Mighty Death Punch – a delicious beverage that may or may not cause you to black out and completely forget how much of an ass you were at the PURPLE PANDEMONIUM MIDNIGHT LIVER TRAUMA FOWLARAMA BRING YO MAMA NIGHT RYDA PARTY!!!! Get drunk as shit and grab the microphone to sing some Juggalo Karaoke – which may or may not lead to 17 pairs of ninjas all doing Chicken Huntin' Slaughterhouse Remix back to back… But shut the fuck up and direct your eyes to the stage for very special performances from Enasnimi and – you guessed it – SEWERSIDE!! That's right – there will be a very special Sewerside performance that is NOT to be missed! There will be Gathering themed songs, Pandemonium themed songs, Party themed songs, and yes, PURPLE themed songs!!! As well as a very special appearance by our homie, 2Bongz! Do not miss this party, ninjas – it is definitely going to be one for the books.
Bring your half drunken half hung over ass to the Chaos stage at 1PM on day 2 – Thursday, July 27 – because the Wolfpac are hosting Psychopathic Radio. Once again, you've guessed it – SEWERSIDE will be there for an interview, and other possible craziness. After all, it's the fucking Wolfpac. Those guys are nuts. Last year, they had me on and wanted me to be a guest judge in some hot sauce competition. I couldn't stay since I had a concert to perform – BUT – I did get to try the hot sauce. It was hot as fuck. It almost ruined my voice for the show — THANKS GUYS!! This time though, I don't got any fucking schedule that early so I'm gonna be lingering around getting as much screen and microphone time as possible in that bitch.
Later that night – after basking in the glory of the mighty 6th Joker's Card, you're gonna wanna bathe in the freshness that is the Oklahoma Wine Mixer down by Balla Beach – hosted by The Juggalo Yacht Club – with special cohosts Lyte, Scottie D, and ME, SEWERSIDE!! Another amazing party to blow your fucking wig back, it's the Oklahoma FUCKING WINE MIXER BIIIIIIIIAAAATCH! Lyte and I are judging a bikini contest, so bring them titties and asses and get objectified and borderline sexually harrassed by rappers. BUT ITS ALL IN GOOD FUN I THINK??? My homies are single so join the bikini contest and hook my boys up with some sandy beach neden! Then, stuff your face at the s'mores bar and wash it all down during the Faygo Chuggin' Contest. There's also a limbo contest and a volleyball tournament. Come on, y'all – there's never been a real event like this at the Gathering before so you KNOW you can't miss it. And this isn't like Lake Hepatitis either – it looks more like the lush and beautiful waters of the Crystal Forest back in '03 to '05 BUT BEFORE I ADMIT TO HOW OLD I AM – you better recognize that this party is gonna be the SHIT! Don't even think about missing this soon to be legendary event down at Balla Beach, Thursday Night from 1130 to 3am!
If you're tired at 3am after the Oklahoma Fuckin' Wine Mixer – I got 3 words for you: FUCK YO SLEEP!! Walk your tired ass down to the Chaos Stage and get ready to be SCHOOLED with one of the dopest Sewerside performances EVERRRRR! 30 minutes of wig splitting, ear shattering, speaker destruction of sonic bass booms laid over NES sounding instrumentals and the fiercely dope raps by me, Sewerside, blowing your fucking face back and making you frantically shove your arms in the air, waving them like you just don't care. This set will prove to be legendary as it will have 2Bongz joining me for the first OFFICIAL peformance as SewerBongz for our song FUCK A CLOCK!!! It will also mark the return of TwoTone performing Babyrox, and for the FIRST TIME EVER, Babyrox will FINALLY be available on CD with a limited edition bomb ass crack baby sticker you can put on your car to support Babies Smokin' Rocks!
Man, I am fuckin' STOKED to come and rock it with the family again this year! Can't wait to see and kick it with y'all. BE SURE TO LISTEN TO REPLICON RADIO TOMORROW NIGHT – MONDAY JULY 17!! WE ARE 17N IN THIS BITCH!